


A life full of regrets

by limamelon



Series: Facing forward [1]
Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: F/M, KanoKido Week 16, Pre-events of the manga/anime/novels, this is totally platonic tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 23:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6830566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limamelon/pseuds/limamelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kano's musings about his life and how nothing seems to be right except for a little detail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A life full of regrets

**Author's Note:**

> • **Prompt** : Eye abilities  
> This is mainly written from Kano’s POV, previous to the events of the manga/anime/novels. As always, English isn’t my mother tongue so sorry about any mistakes.
> 
> Again thanks to Holly for being my beta reader!

* * *

****

## **~ A life full of regrets**

_Except for one thing._  


* * *

Having an eye ability was definitely something extraordinary. It was magical, a blessing, a second chance in life, something for what many people would give a lot to have. Who hadn’t dreamed about having special powers and becoming a superhero after all? There were plenty of movies and shows about the matter and even though the hero always had to face a lot of problems, they’d eventually get their happy ending as they deserved.

To Kano Shuuya though, having an eye ability was a curse, something he once asked for but out of pure naivety.

Sure, when he just found out about his brand new superpower he thought it was pretty cool, he could become anything! Well, not anything, his attempt to turn into a plane proved to him that he couldn’t turn into some inanimate object, but why would he need to become a plane anyway? That’d been quite stupid of him, but then again he was just a child, who could blame him for that.

The first time he thought of it as a curse, even if it was for just a brief moment, was when his aunt found him looking like his mother. Just because of that he was left in the orphanage, but at least his aunty didn’t have to worry about raising a child she didn’t ask for and besides, in that place he met two kids with similar conditions to his so in the end it wasn’t really a bad thing, right?

The second time the idea of being cursed crossed his mind was when he was already in the orphanage. The room he shared with the other two was considered the “monster room”, a title they didn’t seem to be able to get rid of, apparently. All the other kids and even the adults gave them weird looks just because they were a little weird –okay, _very_ weird–, but what could they do! They didn’t ask for superpowers they couldn’t control, not directly at least, and they were just children who needed help as much as any of the other normal kids, so why did they get to be treated differently?

He found that out of the three of them he was the one with the most control over his power, which gave him a huge responsability. He felt like since no adult was there to support them, he had to support the other two, his first two friends, as much as he could. Even if it wasn’t for a long time, things in the orphanage sort of worked out with them acting that way –more like him trying to help and the other two being completely helpless, at least until a kind family decided to take them in and give them a warm house and the love and support every kid should have.

However, those happy times ended as suddenly as they had arrived and whose fault was it? Of course, the cursed trio! Everything around them seemed to get infected by their curse, which lead the family that adopted them to be completely destroyed, the three of them gone forever. And why? Because everything around them seemed to die. They weren’t in control of their lives, they were part of a bigger plan, something Ayano had only told him and he had kept to himself. Their curse was going to end with their death eventually, he knew that sooner or later he was going to come for them and that didn’t let him live in peace.

But why would he live in peace? He’d been cursed for years, he should have known better that he wasn’t the hero of the story and so he wasn’t going to have a happy ending. As good as he was with his eye ability that he’d been in full control of for years, he hid it all away from Kido and Seto, and then also from Mary. It was just a matter of time until the others appeared but he had to play smart and not let them suspect a thing, let them live in a fake sense of safety and happiness until then.

Thinking about it, the only time he didn’t think of his ability as a curse was during the time they lived with the Tateyamas. They were, more or less, happy, something none of them had truly experienced before. He was in _full control_ of his ability to deceive the eyes, even if Kido and Seto weren’t, but whenever their abilities took over them he was always there to try to support and help them out of it, as well as Ayano was.

Seto found his control somewhere else and by a chance, or should he say destiny? Because obviously they were eventually going to meet the queen and the fact that Seto did it himself and introduced her to them wasn’t just a coincidence, even if back then they didn’t know anything about it. Suddenly Seto could control his power quite well, which was a great thing given that he had been struggling a lot with it, and he was happy now.

And Kido… Well, it was harder with her, because whenever she was upset she began to disappear and that happened quite often. He got used to staying around her all the time because even if he could see her he knew that she wasn’t always visible for everyone else and something that made her even more upset was not being noticed. A simple touch, taking her hand or poking her arm, or any touch that was all he needed to make sure everyone acknowleded her existence. He wasn’t sure exactly when it happened, but Kido also became able to control her ability at will, something for what he was truly thankful for. He had seen her cry plenty of times because of it and having her overcome that was such a big relief.

He was returning home from one of his nightwalks as all of these thoughts became stronger in his mind, always using this time to think about his life and how everything had gone to hell from the very beginning.

He had lived instead of his mother when his life was worthless. He had lived instead of Ayaka and Kenjirou, innocent and kind people who took three weirdos in and raised them as their own children. He had lived instead of Ayano who gave her life to save him and the other two and he did nothing to stop it. He had worked for him, the snake controlling Kenjirou, because Kido and Seto’s lives depended on it. He had lied to them, he had manipulated them to play the secret organization and pretend to have a normal life again. He had blamed his sister’s friend for what happened to her even if he knew that it wasn’t that guy’s fault. He had seen the bodies of Ayano’s senpais and done nothing to try to give them their lives back.

He wasn’t so in control of his ability at will as he claimed to be either, so there was absolutely nothing good about him.

He had done nothing right in his life, ever.

“I’m back~!” He announced as he walked into the base, not expecting anyone to welcome him though. Every once in a while he met Mary in the living room, watching the tv intently as some anime played on the screen. Seto and Kido were usually asleep by then, and tonight all of them seemed to be sleeping already.

Letting out a small sigh he began to remove his boots when something grabbing his arm startled him. Well, someone.

“It’s late.” Kido said as she became visible right next to him, frowning deeply at him.

“It’s not that late,” he replied, giving her a wide grin that didn’t quite match the train of thoughts that’d been haunting him tonight. “Besides if it’s so late why are you awake~?” His voice sounded as playful as ever, but she kept glaring at him, the serious look in her face trying to hide how worried she was.

“Shut up,” she scoffed, letting go of his arm and pulling her hood off. “I followed you out,” she then admitted, her expression not changing at all as she spoke.

Kano though, he really was caught off guard by that. She had been following him tonight and he hadn’t realized it? That was just… wrong. He had to be more careful next time, at least tonight had only been a stroll, nothing that could lead to certain secrets she wasn’t supposed to find out.

“Wahhh, Kido! It’s so dangerous for a cute girl like you to be outside at these hours of the night.” He shrugged his shoulders casually, the grin remaining on his face in response to the unamused look that Kido was giving him still. This time she didn’t react to him calling her cute, even though that usually embarrassed her but probably she hadn’t even heard what he said.

“Why do you have to do this?” She retorted, seemingly to wait for a response, something he couldn’t give to her. “I know that you’re an idiot, but this is beyond normal.” She hurried to add seen as he wasn’t going to tell her anything, turning herself around she started to walk away from him and in the direction of her room. “Go to sleep soon or you’ll have to clean the base all by yourself for the next 6 months.” Those were her last words before she disappeared from his sight.

“Okay okay~!” He agreed with a cheerful voice but as soon as she was gone he frowned. She really had mastered her ability to conceal herself, even from him apparently, huh. He swore he could always find her when this happened but tonight had proved him wrong and he had been way too careless…

As he looked in the direction she had just left he couldn’t help but think about one little thing. The fact that she mastered her concealing ability was mostly her achievement obviously, but he had helped her, even if just a little bit each time he held her hand or made sure she wasn’t vanishing.

So even if he thought he had done nothing good in his life, he had somewhat helped a cursed person like him to overcome her situation. Even if it was a tiny little extra help and she didn’t need him anymore, maybe the whole purpose of his tragic life had been to stand there by his friend number one’s side and hold her hand when she needed it the most, which lead to this moment. How much she had grown, that made him feel relieved and even for a moment he forgot about his problems and just focused his thoughts on her, a small smile, a genuine one, creeping onto his lips for a short moment before he decided to follow her orders and go to sleep.


End file.
